I bet everyone knows the painful feeling you have when you have a splinter on your hand and you try to pull that it out. When I was a child I used to run to my mum for that. The funny thing is, she would ask me to stay calm so she could pull the splinter out. However, I always ended up running away in tears until my mum would grab my hand and look me in my eyes and explain to me that If I don't stay calm I will feel the pain. Eventually she would pull the splinter out, while my little voice was screaming. Guess what? After that it felt so great and, I would end up feeling no pain anymore.
Why am I telling you this little story? Because this is how we sometimes handle things. We may have problems, but when it comes to handling our problems we often run away. We are constantly looking for the easy way out that will only give us temporary solutions. Do we really want temporary solutions? I’m sceptical about that.
Instead of running away we should seek for things that provide us and our family the peace we need for the rest of our lives. Am I right or not?
One day I heard a story of a woman. She met a young lady who was going through a divorce. And this young lady felt so bad and told the other woman that she let her little son down. She said that she only had one job, that was to protect her son and she couldn’t do It. Well the woman listening to this young lady asked her, name three things you want your son to be? She answered. I want my son to be kind, wise and resilient. The woman answered. Well for that he has to go through the pain. Your divorce may be the way he is going to be defined by those three things. You need to give him the space to have pain so he can grow and learn from that.
Is It possible that protecting yourself or somebody else from pain is one of those wrong characteristics the society has given us? Pain is not something to be avoided. The reason why most of us cannot handle certain things or just quit.
I've never looked at pain that way. I understand now that running from pain is only a temporary solution. It may give you peace for one day, two days, a month or a year. But the trash will still come back.
For instance, I remember a very specific time of my life when I had to walk with two crutches. Really not easy at all. It would be a lie if I would tell you that It was simple and not hard to see everybody walking normally. I felt humiliated, me that little girl who loves walking with high heels was not even able to walk on flip flops. The funniest thing of all, I thought It was going to take me 6 weeks to recover but instead of that It took me more than a year and half to completely recover. I remember when going to my physical therapist. She would look at me and laugh because I didn’t want to leave those crutches otherwise It would hurt. Her laughing wasn’t because she was mean, but because she knew that the only way for me to heal was to walk through a painful process. One day I really had enough of that situation. The only vision I had was me walking normally. So, I threw both of my crutches and started walking through the pain. That was painful but it was the only way for me to walk like nothing ever happened before. I had to go back to the therapist for my last session. She was astonished when she saw me entering the room without those crutches. I remember her saying that now I was ready to conquer the world because I’ve learned to overcome the most difficult part of my life. Four years later, I can tell you that I will thank this woman for ever. Because If I’m faced with a difficult situation, I learn to go through It without ignoring It. I know It’s going to mold my character so I can become the best version of myself.
Not only this painful situation has shown me humility but It made me even stronger than ever before.
Allow yourself in silent seasons of your life to be calm and listen to God's instructions. I know It doesn’t always make sense but be still. Personally, this is something I had to go through by myself to understand what It really means to be still, patient and full of faith.
Kiss from a woman with no Limits XoXo
It has been a while since I posted my last motivation blogpost. If you haven't read It yet, go check it out.
Today I would like to talk about gratefulness. How do I show my gratitude? How do I react when I don’t get something which I really wanted? How do I react towards new opportunities and closed doors?
I really have to be honest with you. Looking back, I cannot even tell you how many times I caught myself complaining about futilities. My behaviour changed at the moment that I started listening to one of Steve Harvey’s radio shows. In his show, he was emphasizing the importance of being grateful. Steve Harvey was clear on that. “If you are not thankful for what you have. Why would God give you more stuff if you’d probably not be grateful and appreciative for it? The lack of gratitude is a blessing blocker.” I sat down and though that for a long time I had a selfish behaviour. I had to change this behaviour.
So, two years ago, I decided to buy myself an empty notebook to write down every single thing that happened in my life. For instance, I wrote down that I am happy because I have water to drink, I have a bed to sleep on, ... my list kept going. You probably had to laugh after reading this. But, that’s ok. I’m fine with the fact that I want to be blessed. Aren’t you?
To make It easier, you can compare gratitude with windows. Every time you are thankful for what you have, another door or window gets open. Isn’t that great to know that you have a God who does that for you?
And why should you write things down? If something happens that you cannot get the control over It, then you can reflect back on the things that went good or bad to see that If you got through that, you also and surely can get through what you are facing at a certain moment.
Remember the famous quote “Only look back to see how far you’ve come.” Well reading those things allows you to gain the strength you need to move forward. Just look back to see where you started and were you are now. Showing gratitude will save you for futile frustrations. It will save you from some weird feelings of having done anything whereas you probably were doing a lot than supposed to.
Get rid of those distractions that make your path to achieve your destiny heavier. Learn to appreciate every moment. Even in your darkest seasons there must be something to be thankful for. In the end, what happens in your life can be a blessing or a lesson. Therefore, you must pick up things carefully that you might be confronted with. Don’t be passive by only reading this but move and be active. It’s only by doing things, that you have the power to change your life.
Kiss from a woman with no Limits XoXo
Christelle Olivia Zitu
I was not supposed to write something about this. Actually, I had planned to write something different. But my spirit told me to share my perspective after some painful situations. Who knows I may inspire someone.
Three weeks ago, I was talking with a good friend of mine. During our conversation, we emphasized on the fact that we were grateful for everything that happened the last years. And my friend basically told me that he was thankful for the pain, the rejections he may have felt. I asked him what he meant by being grateful for the pain. Well, my friend explained to me that feeling some pain was a way for him to really get to know himself. The reactions that he sometimes got after a break-up, rejection or disappointment were only there to show his true colors. Those bad situations were there to show him what he needed to change in his life for himself.
The funny thing is that a day after I finished writing this blogpost, I went on my Instagram account. For the very first time I wanted to use Instalive in order to see how It works. Without even noticing I clicked on Lerato Kganyago’s (South African TV-Host/DJ) profile who was going live at that particular moment. Well I started watching and listening to what this beautiful woman was saying. She said the thing she liked the most in her life was feeling the pain because for her It meant making progress. Can you believe It? That was a strong perspective of what I was writing about.
After all, I think the power or even the core of this message was the focus on what we keep our eyes on. What do we do when problems occur? Do we keep our eyes on the problem or do we focus on the positive things that come out of the trouble?
Most of people are so focused in what the other did to them that they start asking, "Why God? Why did this happen to me? Why?" And what If that bad situation was only to put some dirty stuff out of your life so you could become a better person. Maybe the trouble was the only way for you to become stronger, wiser, smarter. What If that bad relationship is the only way for you to show what kind of friends you have? Those are different elements that we have to take into consideration. To be honest with you, it is only this year that I understood that feeling some pain is a preparation for the next step in your life. Guess what, if you can handle this one, you surely can handle the next one.
Remember nobody is perfect. So, we have a lot of work to do with ourselves. And the thing is that we do not have the control after someone's behavior. However, we have the possibility to control ourselves. Isn't that a reason enough to learn something after the bad breaks, the bad relationships, the struggles? And keep in mind, God can turn a very bad situation that was meant to hurt you into a blessing, into something that could change your life forever.
Kiss from a woman with no Limits XoXo
Did you ever ask yourself how many times you wanted to control something that you couldn't? The truth is we all want to control things. Nobody likes the fact of not knowing where they are going. But this is how your faith is being tested. It is easy to like the beginning and the end of a project but it is complicated to stay calm, in joy, patient when in the middle.
The good news is that we can let go of how we think something should happen and just surrender. Only God knows why, how and when everything will fall into place.
We need to understand that sometimes we just cannot control certain situations. And controlling them will cause us to be unhappy and force things that we should not force.
A couple of days ago, I was watching Chelsea Handler during an interview she had. She was asked what she would write if she had to write to her younger self. At the very end of the video something took my attention. She said: “The best thing you could do is to enjoy the struggle of the unknown because you will have the life you have always dreamed of”. After her message, I was happy to know that it is okay not to know everything. It is very normal if you feel like you haven’t figured out everything in your life because there is always something waiting for you beyond the life you have imagined. When you do things that look crazy, big or exceptional to you. By that I mean things that you cannot do on your own. That's when you know that God's grace, favor has stepped in your life and that He has been leading you all the way long.
The last two years have been crazy for me. I have done things that I couldn’t do by myself. The right people coming into my life, discovering talent I did not know I had. But I know that all of that came from God. Having the certitude that he only wants the best for me showed me how to wait on HIM and not to rush things. Suddenly things that were so important to me became less important or less dramatic. What I am trying to tell you is that when you reach your limits you will learn how to trust and depend on God. Why spending your time convincing people to like you, to believe in you or to support you? Nope, this is not your battle. So why just not stay peaceful knowing that we serve a Father who won't let us down.
Kiss from a woman with no Limits XoXo
My dream helped me to step into my purpose. Sounds weird or maybe not that much.
Before I share my personal experience with you, I would like to explain a couple of things. I tried so long to understand the difference between those two things. The first one is passion or your dream and the second one is your purpose.
Passion is what you love doing. Actually, what you always have been dreaming about since you were a child. It can be teaching, dancing, being a pilot etc. A purpose is that one special thing that God has called you to do in this world. The thing about your purpose is that you cannot run away from It. Let me use my own life as an example. I love singing, speaking, hosting. But my purpose is to motivate other people. I cannot run away from It. Every single time that I am leaving the door of my house there will automatically be someone who will need me. And yes, I always have to be ready to talk to that person and to tell everything what he or she needs to hear at that particular moment. So, I can live in my purpose by the things I love doing. I can motivate people by my interviews, by being myself, through what I'm doing even without noticing that I'm living It. Well I can already hear someone asking me "But what If I don't know my purpose?" Well, you should ask God what your purpose is. Why are you in this world? He will lead you by the little things you have to do so you can enter to what he really called you to do.
Now I would like to talk to you about those small things in life that seem so insignificant to us but big in the eyes of God.
Recently, I was watching an interview by Lala Anthony who was telling to other young people that the best thing of her life came after she did something for free. Sometimes she had to do things she didn't want to do. Life is a process. We are all a work in progress and in every stage of your life you have to accomplish things in order to achieve the next step of your life. You need to make sacrifices. The question is are you willing to take the small things before getting the big things? What If you are put in a position that makes you feel like not waking up at 5 ‘o clock in the morning? Would you quit or would you choose to stay in your bed? How can you handle that 5000 euro a month If you cannot even handle the 10 euro you are getting? Let's make It clear It’s not easy but If you know your purpose you will recognize If this is the right thing you should do or not.
(You know that little voice in your head that most of us love ignoring because of our ego).
There is no time to quit every single time that things are getting harder. There is no time to complain If we get the first stage of what we are prepared to do later. Ask yourself: What do I have on my plate right now? What am I supposed to do right now? Do It! Show God that He can trust you with the small, little things and see HIS blessing for your life.
Kiss from a woman with no Limits XoXo